Your Wife May Have Already Won $1.3 Million! - electric toothbrush

Man, is your wife bothering you?
Is she talking about leaving?
Did she tell you the magic was gone?
Is the yellow pages of the phone open to the section labeled "lawyer?
"Is she packing her suitcase?
It's a brand new, very expensive-
Looking for a suitcase?
Did you find your wife browsing through a stack of travel brochures to places like Paris or Rio?
Did you find the business card of the Ferrari car dealer near her wallet?
Did she suddenly start to suggest to you that marriage counseling would be a "great waste of time "?
"Did she ask for your divorce documents before the Federal Reserve Bank?
She asked you to keep everything? -
Cars, houses, furniture, plants, dogs ---
Because all she wants is a new start?
Guys, I know what's going on.
Your wife won the lottery.
Come on, check it out.
Go to your bank.
Make a withdrawal slip from your United check account for "$1 million and 0 cents.
If the cashier asks, "What do you think, sir ? "-
How many hundred or a few small bills?
"Then you will know that your wife did win the prize and did not tell you about it.
But if the teller laughs and dies, it's likely that your wife is an honest woman and, in general, she's really tired of your guts.
On the other hand, guys, it's entirely possible for her to hide the loot somewhere else.
Switzerland, for example.
So please don't take any risks.
If your wife suddenly talks about divorce-
Gave you a lot of booing. hoo-
About unhappy things-
You must ask her: "You didn't happen to win the Super Lotto, dear, did you?
"Because you never know.
I can't guarantee that one of the above scenes applies to Thomas and Dennis Rossi, the weirdest couple in our state lottery.
All I know is that we should not expect Sirand Mrs.
Rossi will soon become a group member of the "wedding game.
Maybe you know their story.
Based on all available evidence, Dennis Rossi and five colleagues
Workers from a clothing design store hit California's Super Lotto for $6.
6 million, December. 28, 1996.
Dennis didn't run home and said to Thomas, "Hey, guess what Santa brought!
"She didn't even tell her husband, 25, that she had a good news and a bad news.
The good news is that she won the first prize.
Jack, the bad news is that she's on the road.
Instead, Dennis Rossi filed for divorce 11 days after winning the lottery two weeks after Christmas.
Her husband has a gutter, too. That little 1. 3 mil she won?
My God, this problem has never occurred during the division of community property.
If you look at it in one way, it's actually a big win for women around the world.
After a lifetime of dealing with dirty, corrupt, lying, pampering, double crime
This is evidence that a woman can be as big as a mouse.
Denise apparently claims she has been considering divorce for several years. Big deal.
I thought about being an astronaut for years, but no one sent me into space.
Thomas said he and Dennis "even shared the same electric toothbrush", which never seemed too bad for him.
"We want him to have at least a single razor.
He did not know the truth until two years later.
His house received a letter advising him to take all his bonuses at one time.
Thomas didn't even have a single sum of money, let alone once.
There are some divorced wives who want to continue to get support in the way they are used.
Some husbands don't mind the same treatment. Mr.
Rossi just had no chance--until now.
On Tuesday, a judge in Los Angeles ruled that Denise Rossi, 49, violated state-owned asset disclosure laws by mailing lottery money to his mother and keeping quiet.
Tom Rossi, 65, is not entitled to half the money.
He is entitled to all this. **Women.
Can't win with them, can't collect our bonus without them.
I think the future prenuptial agreement should specifically point out that if either party wins the Super Lotto, he or she has to run home right away and yell, "we won the Super Lotto!
"Because if I find out that my wife secretly lent our lottery money to her mom, I would share a toothbrush with someone else. I'm old-fashioned.
I want a woman to leave me because I have no value, not because she has no value.
* Mike Downey's column appears on Sunday, Wednesday and Friday.
Write him at Times Square, Los Angeles 90053E-mail: mike. downey@latimes.