The new holiday checklist: All you need to know to survive a family holiday in 2017 - pink electric toothbrush

I'm not trying to say that I'm spoiled because it's obvious that summer vacation is a precious time for you to hang out with your family, go to hot foreign beaches and eat ice cream at any time of the day,, also, isn't summer vacation an absolute pit?
Come on, admit it.
They're terrible.
All the packaging, but somehow still forgot your phone charger.
Drag a wheel suitcase behind you and wade through the airport.
Yell at your child after the taxi.
Those mosquito bites.
All the people who came home found you had no hot water and the cat was gone.
But holidays are always a little frustrating for me.
When I was six years old, my brother and I were so excited about going to Spain that we woke up at four o'clock A. M. that day and when our dad came in to announce Rossi we jumped on the bed happily, our sister, I coughed so badly that we could not go to Spain but to Kent's grandparents' house.
This is perhaps the first sign of a challenge in life.
A few years later, my father and I went to climb Mount Kilimanjaro, but on the first night in Tanzania I fainted, and on a table in the restaurant my head cracked, had to sew two layers of needle around the left eye to prevent it from falling off.
Then there was a time when I was not able to go to the airport for an ex post checkA-
Because my Fiat was broken in, my passport was stolen the day before my scheduled departure, so I had a pleasant holiday in Greece.
I stayed at my home in London while my friend stabbed the boy with a tattoo in Maria's meatbowl.
All in all, my relationship with the holiday is tortuous.
You may feel the same way.
However, we started and got excited for them again.
Book tickets, print your boarding pass, and your alarm clock is set to 4.
45 tomorrow morning. You’re off!
There are some inevitable things happening here . . . . . . After the hanniba army crossed the Alps against the Romans, they were probably tired.
But they may not be as tired as those who are vacationing through the British airport.
Discussing which British airport is the worst, it has become a national sport, but it will be blocked in terms of my money.
A few weeks ago, I passed through the duty-free zone in Stansted (
Whoever decides that we should be forced to go through the tax-free passage immediately after the security check in line, should poke into the eyes with a huge sledge)
There is also a lady whose lipstick is bright pink and she gives away rum for free at 6.
55 in the morning.
I would like a drink from time to time, but the rum before seven o'clock A. M. is the thin end of the wedge.
Then my friend and I lined up at Pret a Manger for about an hour for a cup of coffee, and then we walked another five miles or so to the door, there we waited another hour in line to realize that we accidentally entered the fast boarding queue, so we went to the back of the queue.
None of the kids behind me dragged Trunkis in a bland way, but I can only imagine that it would cost me 63 times the experience.
The plug adapter is more important than ever, as you will bring your phone, Kindle, iPad, laptop, wireless headset, electric toothbrush and straightener with you during the holidays, all of this needs to be plugged in and charged.
Probably at exactly the same time, so it's better to bring five adapters with you.
Passive is a good idea-
As some members of money, actively draw your initials on the adapter with an indelible pen --
As we all know, this is what the Coutts family does.
This means that when the adapter is mysteriously missing from your bedroom and no one in your home claims to know where it went, you can find the culprit (
Usually a brother or a son in his teens)
Beat them with plastic flies.
This is very interesting.
If you're on vacation with another family, should you share a big car or buy your own?
The advantage of sharing a rental car is that it will be cheaper.
Cons include: arguing whether you pay extra for insurance, having to endure the children of others in the car, having to endure the jittery mood of your friend while driving on the other side of the road, debate who will get off at the airport again or pick up another teenager and argue who will scratch the side of the car when you send it back to the airport.
"Let's play a game after dinner! ” says someone.
It could be your mother.
Then there will be a half.
Which game spelling game is discussed in hours? Perudo? Monopoly? Jenga?
Anti-Human cards?
-Before you agree to play the game.
Then there's the other half.
When you divide yourself into groups, have an hour of discussion.
The game started.
Within three minutes, your sister cried because she didn't know the capital of Ghana, and your brother threatened to stab your other brother with an egg timer, a boring teenage cousin smoking outside.
"What do everyone want to do today?
"When you reach out to get croissants, someone asks happily every morning and reflects the fact that you just want to walk from the table to the sunbeds for 10 steps, in addition to the short vertical moments at lunch, keep sunbathing until drinking time.
Even if it's already on the 12 th floor, there's always someone who wants to play tennis or go for a walk, which is infuriating perky.
There will always be suggestions for "spend the day on the ship" and everyone will mumble how cute it will be and then the ship cost 7,588 and a kid is stung by a jellyfish and after you go home, heat the crust with salt.
Others would suggest going to the local ruins.
You will feel that you should say "yes" to this, because if you don't, they will come home later and continue to talk about the cultural richness they see this.
However, if you say yes, you will spend a few hours in danger of dehydration and sunburn while looking at something falling --
The walls and rocks may have been statues of Caesar (any caesar)
But it no longer has any obvious features.
In the end, there will be someone who says they like the beach, so, you all get on the bus with towels, buckets and rubber rings, wait for the parking space for a few hours in the traffic, and then, later, on the beach, in the local bistro you'll be waiting in line for hours where you'll eat the rubber squid.
"It's delicious, isn't it?
So Fresh, "you say to each other.
You get squeezed when you get home.
12 of you live in this villa, which means the dishwasher needs to be uninstalled throughout the day.
Watch out for the people who walk into the kitchen, open the dishwasher and put a glass inside and see that the cycle is just over and tipto walks away with the toes so they don't have to do that.
By the third day, there will be a lot of debate about who unloaded the breakfast of the dishwasher.
Unless you have a quarrel with one or all of your children at the end of lunch every day, have you even been on vacation?
Tired parents will insist that the children rest for an hour after lunch so that their ham and cheese can be digested correctly, without cramps and drowning in the pool with stitches.
My brothers and sisters and I were sent to bed after lunch to read the book for an hour, although I clearly remember that I was considered an exciting summer for adults --
Enough to retire to sunbeds with adults and read the Famous Five books instead of packing in.
But I just made three roughly.
The second Google found a website in the science behind this dubious statement, which said: "An incident of drowning due to a full stomach swim has never been recorded.
"It confirms my long-standing suspicion that adults only have cramps so they can open another bottle of rose and enjoy an hour of calm.
These include, but are not limited to: local alcohol bottles that will be placed behind the cabinet at home;
Postcard, put the rest of the time in the paper bag on your desk;
The herbs and spices of small glass bottles will explode in your bag on the way home;
A vibrant sea view painting that looks lovely in Corfu but doesn't look right in Basingstoke.
There will be many quarrels about milk during the holidays.
I haven't been able to drink it since I was five years old on vacation in France.
My grandmother used to keep the milk jug in the fridge with a plate of melons she had never eaten.
The result is that the milk every morning tastes like melons.
I realized that some children grew up without shoes, not to mention the milk and melon fridge, but since then I have stopped drinking milk.
Other holiday lines on milk include a shouting contest about who missed the milk, which means it's gone (
Milk just needs to look at the sun abroad before it goes out).
Or, someone finished the milk, and now your friend's poor toddler little Agatha can't sleep without a bottle.
These days, I bought two bottles at the airport before going to any hot place because I was in my 30 s and spent too much time wondering if the nearest mole on my stomach was skin cancer.
So I was rather annoyed when other people on vacation decided they didn't need to buy sunscreen because they could borrow my sunscreen.
This will usually be a man, because men seem to forget the sun's influence every year, and will be very surprised when they burn on the first day of the holiday.
There is also a rule: unless you marry them, you can only ask someone to rub sunscreen on your back once a day.
What's even more irritating
It's always a fun game to end your holiday.
Did you park it in the Orange F row of the absolutely huge parking lot or the Green Y row?
Will you go home? Or when you walk up and down a row of cars, will you die slowly because of exhaustion?
You must be in the F row, but your wife insisted that it was the Y row. why are you getting married?
Why doesn't anyone else seem to have lost their car in this parking lot?
If you can't find your parking ticket when you finally find your car, you will get extra points.
©2019 need help from telegram Media Group Co. , Ltd?
Visit our advertising Guide.